Thursday, February 21, 2013

"He's not tough enough to have a vagina. I'll kick him in the balls instead."

I find that it's a quote that usually inspires me to write a blog post, and this particular one comes from my best friend, who cracks me up. You can enjoy her hilarity here. 

My friend has the worst taste in men boys. Seriously. Every single one of the  boys I have even remotely interacted with is such a douche that I wanted to stab him in his eye. There was one who was so cocky about beating her at this one video game that she came into my bedroom (we used to live together, we don't anymore) and woke me up to get me to come kick his ass at it and shut him up. I did. It was fantastic. 

The "best" thing about these boys is that they REFUSE to take a hint a back off when she tells them to. Even when she goes way beyond hinting and straight up tells them to eff off. They just attach themselves to her like leeches, and we have to practically exorcise them to get rid of them. Its insane. Or maybe they're insane. Or she's insane. We're all insane really....

The only good thing to come from it is that we get to make up lots of insulting names about them. And our creativity knows no bounds in that department. Hours of entertainment right there.  

Now, I will be the first to admit that it's doing to take a damn good man for me to think he's good enough for my bestie. But they're out there, I know they are, because I hooked myself one and while he's practically perfect in every way, he's also just a normal guy. So why the douchebag parade marching down the main street that is her love life? I can reason this out in a lot of ways. One being she has horrible taste in men. Another is that boys are jerks. Whatever the case may be, it's exhausting trying to figure out what makes them think that the way they behave is in any wayshapeorform a good idea or even remotely acceptable. But I guess I think the same thing about a lot of females I meet too. In general, actually, people really piss me off. Let's just leave it at that. 

In the words of Betty White: Why do people say "grow some balls"? Balls are weak and sensitive. If you wanna be tough, grow a vagina. Those things can take a pounding. 

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