Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Stress level: extreme. It's like she was a jar with the lid screwed on too tight, and inside the jar were pickles, angry pickles, and they were fermenting, and about to explode.

I hate uncertainty. Really, I do. I like order and having a plan. Hell, I even like routine most of the time. So when things are the way they are right now, it very much stresses me out. Here's what's been going down since my last post (brace yourself, the last post was in MAY!):

Well, for one, I recently moved. Houses, and cities, to a place I've never lived before but have been to many times. In comparison to where I was before, this city is HUGE. I'm so excited about it because it offers so many opportunities. For work, and for play. Also, instead of a crappy run down apartment, shared with 3 other girls, I'm in a charming little farmhouse on my boyfriend's parent's land. Living, as you may have guessed, with my wonderful boyfriend. I cannot explain to you how nice it is not to have everything I own shoved into one room. I'm still unpacking, and arranging and organizing things, and there is a LOT of that I want to do, but I'm in no rush since pretty much everything essential is out. 

Speaking of that wonderful boyfriend, we have now been living together over two months, and it has been going way better than I ever expected! I lived with an ex when he and I were dating, (and I know it's not fair to compare the two, because really, they're nothing alike, but still) and it did NOT go well. AT ALL. We fought all the time. But boyfriend and I don't. Maybe it's because I didn't move into his space and he didn't move into mine, we moved into an empty house where we each have our own office as well as the shared space of the kitchen/bedroom/bathroom/living room/dining room. Maybe it's just because we are freaking meant to be. Whatever the case may be, he makes me happy as a clam. (I never understood that phrase... but whatever.) 

So I've got the house. I've got the man. I've even lost a little weight. All of those aspects of my life are awesome. Oh we even got a kitten (Tasslehoff Purrfoot). The part that is stressing me out is the job. I am a nanny. I love it, truly I do. Except for one thing: it is unreliable. I've gone through so many families recently (okay like 4...) and currently have two jobs. I work from 6:15-7:30 for one (that will end in December) and 8-5 for the other. This other however, may no longer exist as of tomorrow. But I will not know this until later tonight. That is what I call stressful. Luckily Job 1 pays me enough for me to pay my bills, so it's not like I'm going to be totally screwed, but I would really like to have more than just barely enough to get by. I would really like to have a savings account, and a "rainy day fund" of about 6 months worth of bills/rent. But even working two jobs, I am living pay check to pay check. And job 2 didn't even pay me last week. And they haven't paid me this week either so if the mom decides to quit her job I'm still going to have to drive 30 minutes there and 30 minutes back to pick up pay for the last two weeks. And I'm going to set all of that aside so that I can pay my rent. (I will get two more pay checks from job 1 this month, and by saving all of job 2's pay this week then I will have 1 pay check from job 1 this week and 1/2 a pay check from job 1 the next two weeks as spending money for food and gas and whatnot.) I know everything is going to be okay. I know I'm not really in a bind. But the not knowing is killing me. It's killing the mom that I work for too, which is why they're making a decision tonight. 

So all of this had lead me to make a decision of my own. Even if I do decide to get another second job nannying, I'm going to look at a technical school here tomorrow. I want to go back to school and get a bachelors degree and masters degree and become an occupational therapist, but that many more years of school (at LEAST 3) is NOT appealing to me, and expensive. So if I do a 9 month program at a technical school and get into a steady job (ideally with benefits) that will allow me not only to pay my bills, but to save up some money and (again ideally) pay for school when I decide to go back, I will be much happier. I'm looking at a massage therapy program, but it is going to be tough to sell my dad on it since he does not consider that a "real job" (in my opinion, if I am making real steady money its a real job) but I'm hoping that since he's heard of and even suggested the school (albeit, for a different program) I can convince him. I'm also hoping for some financial aid, but that is tricky since my dad claims me on his taxes. We'll see. I have an appt at 3:45 tomorrow to go and have what they call a "career planning session" (all I called for was tuition rates, which she wouldn't give me, and the length of the program, which she did... they're tricky). If it goes well, I might be able to be in the next program they start. 

Off to a dinner party that was supposed to be at my house, but the weather had different plans. 


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